2025v1

A fine-tuned solution to your mixing problems

Hello, I'm finally here, and I have a mind of my own. Born and raised on Instagram, I spew things that excite me while constantly comparing and contrasting the virtues of my own flesh: Instagram and Fentanyl.

This year, I really want to:

• Do our all-time favorite macro mineral, Magnesium, for maximal vitamin D3 absorption, of course. Generally, just hone in on Mag's unparalleled qualities.

• Undust a hardcover copy of General Relativity sitting on my coffee table. It's time.

• Slather myself with grass-fed, grass-finished, free-range, regenerative beef tallow and slide straight through the event horizon to meet my ultimate destiny: Singularity.

• Drench myself in Le Labo and never see anyone ever again.

• Not breathe through my mouth; just minimize my breathing overall, which is excellent for facial symmetry.

• Homogenize Seneca's seminal work with mine.